Brain Cramp

Do you ever wonder why we have brain cramps? You know what I am talking about. You have an idea, a plan or a clue, but somehow and for some reason your brain just locks up and your idea, plan or clue just explodes into a pile of goo. This is fresh for me today because last night I had one of those cramps that stay with you for a while.

We had a wonderful 4th of July. I started the day by mixing my Grandma Henson’s famous homemade ice cream recipe and pouring it into our ice cream maker. One hour later the little motor ground to a halt and we had a canister full of one and one half gallons of the richest and creamiest homemade ice cream ever. After I tucked that away in the freezer I fired up the grill with good old charcoal (none of that gas stuff) and cooked up 10 pounds of carne asada.

The feast began at one. The food was good. The company was average. (Just kidding!! Lighten up!!) The day was glorious and then everybody left and we cleaned up the mess. Amy and I were kicking back, just relaxing. It had been just about a perfect July 4th by our standards.

About 10:00 o’clock, with the neighbor’s fireworks tapering off, Richie, Paul, Ernesto and Becky showed up and things got weird. Richie walked in the house and asked me why the garage door opener was not working. I knew instantly what the problem was. I remembered that the automatic garage door opener had accidentally been unplugged during our teardown. So I scurried out to the garage to plug it in. I cannot quite reach the plug, so I grabbed a church folding chair. (This is probably where the brain began to seize up.) Yes, I grabbed one of those blue church chairs with the wooden seat and I opened it and set it up. This is a no brainer right? You just stand in the chair and plug in the opener. Yea, it’s easy as long as you don’t have one of those brain cramps. I nonchalantly step on the seat of the chair with one foot and as I rise to reach for the plug my foot slips on the seat of the chair and slides toward the back of the seat and the chair just folds up on me. My foot slid down through the back of the chair and went between the legs of the chair while the chair simultaneously slammed shut and folded up. The chair clinched my leg like a vice and I fell to the floor like grizzly with his foot in a bear trap.

I was able to free myself very quickly and I made a quick inventory and every thing checked out, however I am left with swelling in my right leg that has just about doubled the size of my cankle. (A cankle is an ankle that is so big that you cannot tell where the calf ends and the ankle begins.) So at the end of a perfect day the brain cramp strikes out of nowhere and a man is hobbled. Honestly, I am doing fine. I am just a bit gimpy. But I am very thankful. It could have been worse. My kids, or worse, my wife could have witnessed it. It could have been caught on tape or worse on TIVO and my kids could play it back and forth and in slow motion over and over again. At least I was lying on the garage floor writhing in pain alone with my dignity, my trapped leg and my cramping brain!

Still Alive and Kicking,Craig